Wait But Why (How To Pick Your Life Partner)
so I drive a 2012 Kia Rio and I don’t have power locks or windows.
I feel too comfortable too often and hardly ever lock my doors.
I don’t have anything to steal, besides the car.
I wake up this morning and go outside to smoke a cigarette and notice my trunk is open. I walk up to it, look inside, nothings missing, nothings inside, so I close it. I sit back down and notice the lid to my gas tank is popped but the cap is closed, so I get up and close the gas tank and open my car door to see if anything was weird inside. I had brought a bag of stuff home yesterday from a friend’s house and it had my small iHome inside the bag and a couple other knick-knacks. The contents of the bag was sprawled all over the back seat but nothing was missing.
A little while later I get in my car to drive somewhere and my door light is on because my passenger door was not shut and my glove box was hanging open. I shut the door and make sure everything is still in my glove box (i.e. insurance, registration, etc.) and everything seemed to be there. I’m driving and I realize…
They took my damn condoms. Obviously they were in my car so they weren’t being used and they’re probably faulty from being in the heat…
but, WHO THE FUCK GOES INTO A CAR, SEARCHES THE ENTIRE THING AND ALL THEY STEAL ARE CONDOMS?!
They’re gonna make some unlucky girl pregnant now.
Karma’s a bitch.
"Cuz that’s what we do. We fight. You tell me when I’m being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you’re being a pain in the ass. Which you are… 99% of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. You’ve got like a 2 second rebound rate then you’re back doing the next pain on the ass thing."
"So I want you. All of you. Forever. You and me. Everyday."
Robert Hass (via victoriousvocabulary)
THANK YOU. THIS is what a cuban sandwich should look like. No mayo. and not a hunk of grilled pork, you dumb, white, money guzzling bitch.
I hate Martha Stewart.
W.H. Auden (via observando)
This quote was prominent in Looking for Alaska and it means a lot to me. 💞📖
There you see her, sitting there across the way
She don’t got a lot to say but there’s something about her
And you don’t know why but you’re dying to try, you wanna
Kiss the girl